I Can Only Hope
by andi christine
Summary: Phil committed suicide and Keely is devistated. She doesn't know what to do. How is she going to move on? [I suck at summaries]


Title: "I Can Only Hope"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the songs mentioned. Unless I state so myself. And yeah lol

Songs I wrote: "I Can Only Hope"

CHAPTER 1: How Do You Get That Lonely?

(How Do You Get That Lonely? By Blaine Larsen)

"How do you get that lonely?

How do you hurt that bad?

To make you make the call

That havin' no life at all

Is better than the life that you had

How do you feel so empty?

You wanna let it all go

How do you get that lonely?

And nobody know?"

Keely sat on her bed strumming her guitar. She sang as she played and thought about her life long best friend, Phil. He was that dorky-boy-next-door-cute. He had been her best friend forever it felt like.

Phil had committed suicide. It was a shock to everyone. He seemed so happy all the time. No one knew that behind that bright smile was a heart filled with pain. Every since she had gotten the news of his death, she wondered why. Why did he do it? Why didn't she tell him how she felt? Would it have changed things? Did he feel the same way? His funeral was going to be on Saturday. She had 5 days to write the perfect song to sing at the service. His parents knew she had been playing guitar for 2 years. Phil gave it to her for Christmas. That's what made this song even more special. In a way, he would be a part of it. And she knew, from Heaven, he would be smiling down as she played.

She strummed a few chords. . . .no that didn't sound right. It had to sound like Phil. She tried something a little faster. . . .no definitely not it . . . why was is this so hard? She had the lyrics already all she need were the chords. . . She sang the song to herself to try and get an idea.

"I Can Only Hope"

"My heart broke when I heard

You were my last hope

I loved you

You were my bright light

On that dark day

Where everything went wrong

And now you're gone

I can only hope that I can move on

But I don't know that I can

You were my world

My everything

When you died

So did a part of me

I can only hope that I'll be

Able to love again

You were my world

My everything

I realize now that

You loved me

Why'd you have to leave?

Why couldn't you have stayed?

Just a little bit longer?

I can only hope

I'll find out soon"

Why was she stuck? Why couldn't she figure this out? Had Phil been there, the musical genius he was, he wouldn't suggested she try this or listen to that song to get some ideas. But he wasn't there so he couldn't help her. Or maybe. . .he could. She opened her laptop and opened up video journals they had made for each other. As she was scrolling down the list she saw an unfamiliar one. The title was "For Keely I'm sorry" she opened it in Windows Media Player.

Phil's face popped up. She gasped. It felt like it had been forever since she had seen his comforting face. His soft features. His deep brown eyes and shaggy brown hair that fell perfectly on his face. And that smile, God, that smile. Keely turned up the volume and listened.

Phil: "Keely. . .I know you won't see this until after I do this. I just wanted you to know that I'm not doing this because of you. It's because. . . .because. . .well because. . .I hate this world we live in and you know that. But it's not just that. You know Jack from school? Of course you do. . .well I don't know if you know this but he picks on me everyday. And I hate it. I was going to get you this amazing present for your birthday, but he mugged me in the alley after school and stole all the money I had. I realized I don't want to live life in fear of him coming after me again and possibly. . .even hurting you. I was going to ask you to go to prom with me. But I know how much you like him and I know that if he asked you to go with him I most definitely wouldn't have a chance. . .but anyways, I just want you to know that. . .I loved you and I always have. I'm sorry it turned out like this. Again, I love you more than anything."

Keely slowly shut her computer and set it aside. She laid down and started sobbing. So he had felt the same way. The only reason why she had liked Jack is because he was popular and she was afraid that if Phil ever found out her true feelings, it would ruin their friendship. Oh, how wrong she had been.

There was a knock at the door. She lifted her head up.

"Who is it?" she quietly asked.

"James," a voice answered.

She quickly got up, grabbed some tissues, wiped the tears away, straightened out her clothes and opened the door. There he was. Phil's older brother stood at 6'3. With the same brown eyes and shaggy brown hair, he was a spitting image of Phil. The tears started flowing again.


End file.
